To Release or Not to Release?

So, I’ve found that one thing many potential clients want to know about a mistress is whether she allows release or not. There’s noting wrong with asking about this. For some, more interested in the sexual side of BDSM, this can be a necessary part of a satisfying scene. On the other hand, it’s completely fine to refuse to have this in a scene since, for those more interested in other aspects, it could totally kill the scene.

So, where do I stand on this issue? The short answer is that I do not expressly forbid it, i.e. it’s not a “hard” limit for me, but it’s not something I particularly want in my sessions either. I’m pretty neutral about it emotionally, in that I don’t necessarily feel strong revulsion, but it doesn’t do anything for me. As such, I view release mostly as a waste of my time. I would rather spend that time doing something that does interests me, like getting in a few more minutes of flogging or bondage.

Plus, I am more interested in BDSM as a mystical journey or altered state of consciousness than as a sexual experience and getting off kind of ruins this by grounding it back in the physical realm. Besides, to me, one of the main sexual thrills in BDSM comes from being unattainable and causing frustration. If the guy gets off, it means that he’s not frustrated anymore. Yes, my rational mind knows he’s going to do it as soon as he gets home but, if I don’t have to see it, I can at least preserve my fantasy that he’s so tormented by my awesomeness that he can think of nothing else.

So I’m not going to flatly forbid the practice for the sake of the people who just can’t have a decent scene without it but do have other fine things to offer. But, just be aware, if I do allow you, I’m doing you a favor, out of the graciousness of My heart and it would behoove you to offer me some kind of lovely incentive and/or do something to make it more entertaining for me.

For example, I find ejaculation much more palatable if it’s part of some kind of challenge or test, like overcoming serious pain or fear. Can you manage to get off while receiving a heavy flogging? Or, let’s say you are absolutely terrified of needles. I show you a tray of my piercing equipment all ready to go and tell you you have permission to touch yourself. But, if you do, the needles are going in as soon as you’re finished. You really want to get off but, if you do, something horrible will happen. Which need will win out? Now THAT sounds like fun.